Expectation

[Rob]

I enter the time grapping

for something I can not find,

I feel lonely, and with restlessness,

I jump in the air, then crash

hard into disappointment.


Where is Beethoven, I cry out,

The beloved chorus,

I hear only the wall

crack on my own head.


I sit beside myself

strained without notice,

a voice suggests,

reach out for nothing,

for what you need,

does not come from your own pantry.

There will be enough, and a teacher.


Open to receive the food inside

while you look the other way,

walk slowly backwards

until you feel beneath.

settle where you have never been,

the turtle by now had nodded,


I found a red chair as a lady came by,

I could not see her,

absence marked her presence.

she sang a silent song, as she rubbed my heart

until it slowed into a deep I had never been.


I knelt in ritual,

No longer could I move,

Expect less than you expect,

She spoke again,


The turtle stopped,

her words became feelings,

anticipate only the silence inside

as it finds you.


When it arrives,

live without pulling away,

fill it with all your promise.

I opened my eyes, as I sat in the chair,

the turtle had headed for its home.